Riddle me this, Riddle me that
by Monster of men
Summary: roughly 16 drabbles about Alice staying with the Hatter for a visit.
1. Chapter 1

_**Drapes the hills all in white. Swallows to but sharp is its bite. What is it?**_

* * *

Hatter woke up as he usually did, counting sheep, not that he had any sheep, but it helped him to wake up, and kittens were just as good for counting, though he had to make do with counting the hats in his room (luckily, there were a great many to count).

As he woke up more, he noticed something... where was Alice?  
The wee lad tended to get up early, while Hatter liked to sleep late, and he could often hear the boy making tea (a marvellous drink, in his own opinion).  
But now, the tiny cottage was silent.

Hatter frowned; what could have happened to her?  
Perhaps she drank a large amount of pishsalver, and was now so tiny only an ant could see her.  
Or perhaps, she had gone to see the white queen, and fallen down a well (though this would be a great feat as there wasn't a well within miles of the cottage or the castle).  
In any case, Hatter decided he ought to get up and find her.

He searched the house from top to bottom.  
Well, she wasn't in her room, she wasn't in the pantry, or the kitchen, or his workshop, or the living room, she couldn't be in the attic so... surely not.  
Hatter rushed into the kitchen and opened the door to the front garden, shivering.  
There she was.

Alice, in that strange Upperland garment she called a nighty, sat huddled on an especially comfortable mushroom, gazing at the frosted surrounding.  
Hatter placed a hand on her shoulder gently, noting how cold it was.

"Alice," he whispered to the girl – for it appeared she was indeed a girl, not a boy – "Are you trying to catch a cold out here? Because I'm sure cold would be more than happy to come inside for tea and cake if you only asked him politely. Not that you're impolite, you're very polite, and it's a good thing and a smart thing because one can never have enough pol-"  
"Hatter!" Alice laughed, rubbing at her arms to warm them. "I've only been out for a minute, don't worry. It's just so beautiful out here."

Hatter looked around.  
He would proudly admit that the garden was especially fine that morning.

The garden was everything a hatter could want; the gleaming green grass grew out in every direction, reaching his knees; big red bowler hats were strewn across the grounds and hanging in the trees – it was Chessur's fault, he simply wouldn't leave the hat alone - brightly coloured mushrooms stood boldly along the patchwork path, and the flowers lurked in the corners, muttering about the foul weather.  
Yes, all in all, a fine garden for any hatter.  
Still, he cared too much for Alice to let her waste her visit in bed with a cold.

"Come inside and have some tea," Hatter coaxed her, "I'll tell you about the garden in spring time. I believe the brindersnicks are especially mischievous at that time of year."  
Alice smiled. "I'd like that."  
She took his hand, and followed him inside.

* * *

_**Answer – Frost/snow**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Riddle: We try to kill what we save**

* * *

Alice groaned as she cracked open her eyes, stretching.  
She glanced at the old grandfather clock and rubbed her eyes groggily.  
It was three O'clock in the morning, why on earth was she awake?!

"I wouldn't bother going back to sleep, dear," the old grandfather clock said kindly. "It's been three O'clock for hours, and I do believe time has gone off in a sulk again."  
Alice frowned; she just knew Hatter had something to do with it.

"Hatter?!" she called, pulling on her dressing down.  
Slowly, she made her way down the stairs, towards the Hatter's workshop.  
She cracked open the door… well, he wasn't sewing any hats.  
There was only one other place the hatter went when he'd gotten in a fight with time.

Shuddering as her bare feet touched the still damp grass, she walked down the path towards large white table.  
As she had thought, the hatter was sat at the end of the table, manically trying to pour cup after cup of tea from the pot which had long since run dry.

"Hatter?"

Hatter looked up, grinning.  
"Why Alice, it's so good to see you finally up, would you like some tea? Not that there is any tea, as I myself have been up for hours, or have I been up for seconds? It's hard to tell, when time has stopped moving. Again."

Alice sighed, exasperated.  
"Hatter, what did you do this time?"  
Hatter pouted. "What makes you think it was my fault?!"  
She rolled her eyes.  
"Hatter, you always get into fights with time. Now, tell me, what did you do?"

Hatter shuffled guiltily in his seat.  
"Well, you see, time and I had a slight disagreement, and I might have tried to kill it. Again. And, being the sensitive soul it is, time took offense and stopped moving. Again."

Alice groaned, shaking her golden curls.  
"Only you, hatter, only you," she sighed fondly.

"Well, I think the wisest thing to do now is to apologise."  
Hatter shot up like a mouse out of a hot kettle.  
"Apologise?" he spluttered. "Why, time ought to apologise to me! Always making me late and never there just when you need him, time is really a very selfish fellow. Why, I told Mallyum-"  
"Hatter!" Alice snapped. "You will march right up to time this very instant, and apologise for trying to kill it!"  
Hatter pouted, trudging away.

A few hours later (Alice was pleased to note time had started moving again) the hatter entered, frowning.

"So," Alice demanded, "how did it go?"  
Hatter frowned.  
"Well you see, in exchange for starting up again, time insisted I make him a hat, so you see, I am left with absolutely no time to make it, while he has all the time in the world! Honestly, that-"  
"Hatter," Alice interrupted, smiling. "Thank you for apologising. Maybe I'll actually get some sleep now."  
"Get some sleep?!" Hatter cried. "Why, Alice, it's 4 O'clock in the afternoon! Why on earth would you want to be asleep when we could be making hats, or drinking afternoon tea, or…" he trailed off, as he spied Alice's eyes drooping closed.

Hatter chuckled, quietly covering her with a blanket.  
"Poor wee lad," he giggled, "he's tired himself out!"

Gently kissing her forehead, the Hatter crept out of the room, leaving Alice to finally sleep in peace.

* * *

**Answer – Time**

**Hope you're enjoying these. Even if know one likes these, I'm having way too much fun to stop. :)  
**


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